Unfortunately, although 'Bite Me' boasts characters such as the (homeless) Emperor of San Francisco, 'protector of Alcatraz, Sausalito, and Treasure Island,' and Marvin 'the big red cadaver dog,' none of the other voices in the book are nearly as distinct or as entertaining as Abby's. At one point, Abby mourns her inability - 'because there was stuff happening' - to sample the sound of vampire rats flying out of a vacuum and splattering against a wall to 'make a totally cool industrial beat for a dance groove.' Moore clearly has a blast speaking through Abby: ' 'Kayso, then I stared into the dark abyss that is the meaninglessness of human existence, because there was nothing on cable.' Her sections are a ridiculous medley of horny teenage slang and irreverent commentary.

Much of the book comes to us as the journal of Abigail Von Normal, or Abby, for short, who gives her entries titles such as, 'The Mopey Monosexuality of an Outcast Cutie Corpse.' An oversexed and outspoken high school girl, Abby opts for the perilous existence of a vampire minion, and eventually a full-fledged vampire, at least partially 'because there won't be any student loans like there would have been with other career choice of tragic Romantic poet.' The fun of 'Bite Me' is in its wry verbal playfulness. Writing, or reading, a gruesome story about a trans-species vampiric takeover of San Francisco is not for the squeamish, and Moore composes his latest novel, 'Bite Me,' with characteristic, uninhibited vulgarity.

Intelligent vampire cats, aging Japanese swordsmen, fearless and relentlessly stoned Safeway employees - all of these have a special place in Christopher Moore's spacious and deranged heart. A Love Story By Christopher Moore ( William Morrow 309 pages $23.99)

Bite Me by Christopher Moore